What began as a quiet Sunday in Gentilly took a sharp turn into a full-blown shellfish scandal after resident Earl Dufrene reported his beloved pet crawfish, Snappy, missing—just hours before his neighbor began serving what he described as “a suspiciously bold-flavored gumbo.”
Dufrene, 47, claims Snappy—a crawfish he rescued from a seafood boil “after locking eyes across the seasoning tray”—was last seen sunbathing near a kiddie pool in his backyard. Later that evening, he noticed the creature was gone… and the air smelled faintly of roux.
“I ain’t saying she did it,” Dufrene said, pointing across the street toward his neighbor’s house, “but Debra’s gumbo had a sparkle in it. And Snappy always sparkled when he was happy.”
According to Dufrene, Snappy had lived with him for just under six months, enjoyed iceberg lettuce leaf wraps, and “snapped his claws whenever Rebirth played.” The two reportedly bonded over late-night reruns of Swamp People and crawfish races held exclusively in Dufrene’s bathtub.
But on Sunday, tragedy struck.
“One minute he was there,” Dufrene said, holding a laminated photo of the crustacean. “Next thing I know, Debra’s on her porch with a Dutch oven and a devilish grin.”
Debra Landry, a retired kindergarten teacher and lifelong gumbo enthusiast, denies any wrongdoing.
“I ain’t touch no damn pet crawfish,” she huffed. “Earl’s crawfish ran away ‘cause even he got tired of that man talkin’. Earl needs to stop watchin’ crime shows and start watchin’ his backyard.”
“NOPD told me to stop callin’ unless the crawfish had a social security number,” Earl said. “Wildlife and Fisheries hung up on me. I even left a voicemail for the mayor’s office—twice.”
Still, Dufrene remains unconvinced. He has since launched a full-scale public campaign to find Snappy, including a billboard along I-10 that reads: “Have You Seen My Crawfish? Answers to ‘Snappy.’ Call Earl.” He’s also founded a local awareness group, Crustacean Justice Now, and installed a “claw-level” security camera system in his backyard.
“People say he was just a snack,” Earl said tearfully. “But to me, he was family. He was… different. You don’t just throw that in a gumbo pot and move on with your life.”
The situation has divided the neighborhood, with residents taking sides online using hashtags like #JusticeForSnappy and #LetDebraCook. One neighbor reportedly started a GoFundMe for a bronze statue to “honor Snappy’s legacy, whether he was delicious or not.”
Meanwhile, Dufrene is considering hiring a crustacean communicator from Lafayette, claiming he received “a dream message from Snappy saying he forgives whoever ate him, but wishes they’d used less okra.”
At press time, Dufrene was seen placing a tiny bouquet of parsley at Debra’s curbside trash bin.
“He deserved better,” he whispered. “He deserved lemon.”
